Light in the Forest

Light in the Forest

Monday, February 9, 2015

Fessing Up!

Okay, there's simply no way to start blogging about this journey without admitted to the past transgressions that have brought me to this point. So sit down, sit back, and grab your popcorn because it's confession time, y'all!

I used to be very focused and very goal driven.  Over the years, however, I've gotten complacent and then overwhelmed by life in general.  I suspect that's something that most of us experience at one time or another.  My response to this has been to cut back on taking care of myself and to procrastinate when there were difficult things that needed to be done.  I could always find some other way to spend time rather than completing whatever it was that I didn't want to do.  That could be exercise, working on career goals, studying for professional testing, or some days even managing a shower!  Seriously, with three children, a husband, a job, and a menagerie of animals, there really was something else that I should legitimately be doing.  The tasks never ended.

Now, however, I realize several things.  One, I have lost my focus and my ability to stop doing all the little things and focus on the big ones.  Two, I have turned into a complete couch potato, gained excessive weight, lost any healthy habits I may once have possessed, and turned into a sugar consuming machine during my last four years of working at a desk from home.  I can assure you, this is NOT a pretty picture!

But not anymore!  Today I vow to turn over a new leaf.  I vow to quit ignoring the things that need to be changed.  I vow to quit pretending those extra pounds that dramatically increase my risk of developing diabetes don't exist just because I refuse to get in front of a camera so that I can see them. And I vow to look fully and without bias at a whole plethora of other faults that are keeping me from being the healthy and relatively sane person (let's not go crazy and pretend sane is really my thing here) that I know I can and want to be.  My family deserves to have that side of me back.  I deserve to have that side of me back so.... here I am!

I'm here to hold myself accountable, to hold everything up to the light so that I can see where I am and where I'm going.  Later I'm really looking forward to looking back and seeing how far I've come. So if you're here and keeping up, thanks for helping me with that.  I can't do it alone.  You are all my witnesses and my cheerleading squad.... even if I have to make you up and pretend you're there.  Hey! Whatever works! Because this is ultimately my journey.  I have to be accountable, even if it's only to the words on the screen.  But YOU are welcome to join me.  Offer tips, laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, or just smile and be glad you are where you are on your journey.  All comers are welcome.

Thanks for joining me.

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